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Excerpt - Introduction
Why have Jews been so successful at making money?
There are plenty of theories: genetics, cultural
sensibilities, the herring. We don’t agree with any of them.
But before we present our answer to the question, here’s the
story on which the herring theory is based:
A Jewish peddler was taking a train from Minsk to Pinsk.
Stuffed with his wares into a tiny cabin with several other
people, goats, and chickens, he was surprised to see an
officer of the Czar’s army enter through the door. “The
first class cabins are full,” said the officer, a look of
disgust spreading across his face as he realized who his
traveling companions would be for the long ride.
The Jewish fellow, paying respect to one of his country’s
warriors, stood up from his seat and motioned for the
officer to sit down in his place. The officer, pleased, took
the seat and eyed his benefactor curiously. “Are you
Jewish?” he asked.
“Last time I checked I was,” the peddler said, nervously
fingering the knots of his prayer garment.
“Tell me,” said the officer, a light growing in his eyes,
“why are you Jews so good at business? You seem like a nice
chap. Tell me what your people’s secret is.”
The peddler narrowed his eyes, as if thinking hard. “I’m
sorry, but I can’t,” he said. “I’ve been sworn to secrecy.”
“I’ll give you ten rubles,” the officer said excitedly.
“I’ve got to know.”
“Ten rubles? What secret is worth 10 rubles? I’ve sold
shmattes for more than ten rubles, but I’ve given an oath!
Ten rubles is not worth my sworn oath.”
“Okay. I’ll give you 100 rubles.” The officer pulled out a
crisp 100 ruble note and held it in front of the peddler.
The man leaned over the seated officer and whispered
something into his ear while deftly relieving his hand of
the 100 ruble note at the same time. He stood straight up
and looked out the window, ignoring the officer’s puzzled
expression.
“Schmaltz herring?” The officer asked.
“That’s what we eat. We love the stuff. Start eating a lot
of it, all the time. Pretty soon, you’ll notice that your
business acumen is improving. Over time, you’ll find
yourself raking in the rubles.” The train pulled into the
station and the peddler tipped his hat and made his way out
of the cabin. “Ah, here’s Pinsk. Good luck with the schmaltz
herring, sir, and please don’t tell anyone that it was me
that let out the secret.”
A few months later, the peddler was manning his clothing
stand near the Pinsk railway station when he heard the din
of galloping hoofbeats behind him. He turned around to see
the officer, fury in his eyes, reining in his horse. “I
finally found you, you scoundrel,” bellowed the officer. “I
want my money back!” He dismounted. In his hand was a glass
jar of schmaltz herring.
“I’ve been eating this stuff for breakfast, lunch, and
dinner. It’s awful! It tastes like grease mixed with dirt.
You fooled me once, but you won’t again fool me again…”
“I don’t understand, sir,” the peddler said. “What is
wrong?”
“What’s wrong? I gave you a hundred rubles and you told me
to eat schmaltz herring and it would make me a smart
businessman. Now I realize that you’ve tricked me…” The
officer stopped in mid-breath, amazed that instead of
cowering in fear, the peddler was smiling and nodding his
head knowingly.
“Good,” said the peddler, smiling. “I see the schmaltz
herring is working.”
But for those of you—like us—that are not convinced of the
herring theory, let’s ask the question again. Why have Jews
been so successful at making money? The truth is that it’s a
question which many people mull silently, but few dare to
express verbally. Fears of being labeled an anti-semite—or
worse, causing others to indulge in anti-semitism—are the
main reasons for the collective avoidance of this topic.
